We all know that money consistently tops the charts when it comes to things couples fight about. When wallets are tighter-as they most certainly are now-things only get worse. We are stressed, we are worried about our careers, our investments, our bank accounts, and we take it out on each other.
It’s hard to break old habits, so instead of trying to change your spendthrift husband into a tightwad, sit down and agree to a some limits. What percentage of your income will go toward entertainment? What percent will be put toward other extras, like new clothes, and what percent do you need to set away for housing, transportation, savings and debt repayment?
Maybe you want to purchase a house while interest rates are down, or maybe you already have one and the only thing you need is a getaway. Or you want to be debt-free a year from now, or send your kids to college or go back to school yourself. Work out a game plan together so you know what is coming your way, when, and how you’ll swing the bill. Talk about your short-term goals and the long-term ones, and make sure you share a similar picture of the future. A little foresight goes a long way.
Also remember, that there are some things-layoffs, major car maintenance, medical bills-that you just can’t predict. This is where an emergency fund comes in. Pull at least three to six months’ worth of living expenses together so you have it at the ready in either a savings or money market account.
The last thing you need to do is keep track each other’s expenses, a sure road to disaster. But keeping each other informed of major expenditures easily eliminates costly problems like bounced checks or over-the-limit credit card fees.
Money fights commonly aren’t about money. Sometimes they are about power. Sometimes, when assets are unequal, they’re about self-esteem or even jealousy. Sometimes they are about lack of attention, if in your mind money equals love or affection.
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