Newspaper obituaries provide a service in notifying a large number of people in a short period of time about the death of a community member. Unfortunately, they also show a list of possible victims to scam artists and crooks looking for emotionally vulnerable and, during memorial services, physically absent people.
In the despair and confusion following a spouse’s death, you can’t be expected to remember websites and phone numbers for organizations that help uncover the unscrupulous. A few easy tips, however, can help you avoid most of the usual scams.
The most immediate vulnerability will be an empty house. Through an obituary, a thief can ascertain when the family will be away, and with friends and relatives coming and going, neighbors may assume the person going in while the family is gone has permission to do so.
Treat anything from an unknown source with suspicion. Invoices, calls regarding orders for products or services, investment opportunities and claims for money owed might all be scams seeking to part distracted grieving survivors with their money. Pay those bills you know to be legitimate – mortgage, utilities, credit cards, car payments. Place everything else aside. And do not forget that companies that pressure you to make decisions or send cash during a difficult time probably do not have good reasons for doing so.
Consider a checks-and-balances approach to decision making, especially involving finances. Ask a family member, friend or trusted advisor such as an accountant, attorney or financial professional to review invoices and other claims prior to you sending money. You will still have control of your money, and you’ll have a second opinion from someone you trust.
If you and your spouse did not have existing relationships with an attorney, accountant or financial advisor, do your homework before selecting someone during a time of crisis. Your best source will be referrals from friends, family members and associates. Interview at least two or three before deciding on a professional.
Many experts who work with widows and widowers recommend waiting at least a year to make major, irrevocable decisions such as selling or purchasing a house. Avoid anyone pressuring you to make such a decision within months of your spouse’s death.
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